Divorce with children

Divorce doesn’t make it easier.

One of the first questions I’m asked when someone finds out that I am a single mother is “why did you divorce?” This question is common to anyone who has a child and is no longer with the other parent. However, I was curious to find out the top reasons for the breakup, whether it be a separation or divorce. It’s not surprising that there are not great statistics regarding this area, especially with the introduction of the “no fault” divorce by the State of California in the mid-1970s. Since I could not find any consistent statistical analysis on the reason for parents splitting up, no matter which data I looked at I found almost the exact same top reasons.

Reason #1: Communication issues
Reason #2: Financial issues
Reason #3: Reason #1 + Reason #2 lead to infidelity and therefore, infidelity was listed as the reason for the breakup

Ok, this isn’t earth shattering news and I am sure you  have seen this information in some form or another over the years.

The irony

When I looked at this information and examined my relationship with my ex-husband, I quickly realized there is a huge irony when it comes to breaking up with my child’s other parent. Ok, so we no longer live under the same roof and we no longer share bank accounts and bills but our top reasons for conflict after the divorce are:

[list icon=”icon-money”]Reason #1 – MONEY[/list]

It’s kind of ironic when you think the worst part of the divorce is the breakup and getting the divorce, but I must say the most frustrating part is that I know I will have to continue to communicate and discuss financial matters with my daughter’s father for the foreseeable future. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I know I am much happier now than I was while I was married, but I also realize that the divorce didn’t solve our top issues.

Bottom line, just because you breakup or divorce doesn’t mean your communication and financial issues go away. In fact, be prepared for them to get worse. Like it or not, if you have a child with someone, you are tied to them for the rest of your life. You might as well try to find ways to make the relationship better between the two of you, not only for your sanity but for the sake of your children.

What do you think? Do you still deal with communication and financial issues with your child’s other parent?